About 'ill state univ'|Election Day 2012: An ill wind blew and the fat man sang!
If you were an athlete, what would you consider to be the pinnacle of success? I mean, aside from winning an MVP award or a championship? Appearing on a box of Wheaties? Getting invited to the White House to meet a President whose last name is not Bush? Nah, every athlete in America knows the surest sign that you have made it is to get yourself on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Sports Illustrated has been the premier sporting magazine among athletic supporters that are capable of reading for decades. To get your mug on its cover is the equivalent of a TV entertainment getting his face on the cover of TV Guide. Well, back when anyone paid any attention to TV Guide. Sports Illustrated, on the other hand, has outlasted even that dead magazine. Of course, there is one downside to getting on the cover of Sports Illustrated. It means you are jinxed for the upcoming week. I was watching an episode of Coach on my Netflix Roku this week and it was the episode where Hayden Fox appears on the cover of Sports Illustrated the week that his college football team at Minnesota State first cracks the top twenty. His paranoid and intensely pessimistic assistant coach Luther is sent into a tizzy over the prospect of the curse coming true. To tell you the truth, I had forgotten about the Sports Illustrated curse until I watched his episode. You see, about a decade ago I pretty much realized that there was no greater waste of one's life in America than watching sports. Oh sure, I'll occasionally get caught up in a game if I come across it by accident, but I no longer set aside three hours of my life to watch a sporting event from to start to finish. But watching Coach and having the memory of the Sports Illustrated curse brought back memories. Those who insist the Sports Illustrated curse or jinx is an urban legend point to the fact that Michael Jordan appeared on the cover over forty times and never once experienced any ill effects. Ditto the New York Yankees. And, of course, none of the models who ever appeared on the Swimsuit Edition ever experienced any elements of the jinx or curse, except for a few who managed to bloat up to 105 pounds. Believers in the curse point to such things as the Sports Illustrated cover story predicting the Cleveland Indians would win the pennant; instead they wound up in the cellar that year. Writer Alexander Wolff famously conducted research into the validity of the curse and discovered that, at the time of his writing, of almost 2500 different cover stories that Sports Illustrated had done, over 900 of those featured had experienced a downturn in performance that could qualify as being the victim of a jinx or curse. The most cursed kind of athlete? Golfers, who appeared to be the victim of a jinx roughly 70% of the time. The least cursed kind of athlete? Boxers, who fell victim to a post-cover loss just 15% of the time. Even those who accept the concept that the 32% figure that those numbers boil down represents an unwholesome number of bad luck streaks in dancing school are quick to point out that the curse usually strikes those in the prime of their careers rather than up and comers, meaning that the jinx typically upsets those who are older as well as those involved in sports requiring delicate motor skills. That combination, in other words, means that you've got older athletes who are subject to being off their game more frequently. The fact they experience a downturn the week of the cover can be seen, therefore, as merely a not very bizarre coincidence. In that episode of Coach, the character of Luther uses a real life example of the Sports Illustrated curse when he mentions that the Univ. of Oklahoma's 47 game winning streak came to end the week they appeared on the cover. Making this all the more eerie is that not only did the cover story end their record-setting unbeaten streak, but the title on the cover was "Why Oklahoma is Unbeatable." Still, the eeriest thing about the Sports Illustrated curse is that on a handful of occasions the appearance by an athlete on the cover has resulted in tragedy, not just an off week. For instance, the very same week that skier Jill Kinmont appeared, she hit a tree during a practice run and wound up paralyzed from the neck down. Even worse, after a 1958 cover appearance by racecar driver Pat O'Conner, he was killed in a 15 car pileup. The single most tragic example of the Sports Illustrated curse took place a few years later when ice skater Laurence Owen appeared on the cover; that same week a plane crash killed not just Owen, but the entire United States ice skating team. |
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